Sunday, May 13, 2012
For when Daphnica comes home..
I have been reading several blogs and talking on line to several families who have brought their children home in the last year. Several things have become increasingly obvious to me and so I wanted to write them down, before Daphnica comes home. 1) There has to be a party!!! There has to be a party....at the bottom of the stairs/escalator in the luggage area. A welcoming home, a symbol of having "Made IT!!" There has to be lots of photos, and video and it has to be posted to facebook as soon as possible so that those who can't be there but really want to be can rejoice and cry and rejoice.. with the family. After all you all had to suffer with me through blog after blog, after status update that said ..well not much really.. you deserve the party..I can't wait for the party and Daphnica is positively busting at the seams when she thinks about it!! So PLEASE..come to the party :0) Daphnica said to bring a chair and blanket you may need to sit down or get cold will you are waiting at the airport. The Party is Friday May 18th at 10:20pm At the Nashville airport. I wish all my adoptive friends could be at the airport..and that I could be at the bottom of the stairs when they bring their children home too. Thankfully we have the Internet, and I can share those moments with you all. For those that would like to do something special for Daphnice she would love to get a card in the Mail. We have been studying how the mail system works and she just thinks this is unreal. She said she will never get any mail. Here is our address if you would like to send a card. Daphnica Wood 208 S Dixon ST Scottsville, KY 42164 2) Then there has to be recovery!!! for about 6 weeks. As you are all aware we have been through two years of straining towards this point. As I write this post I am physically and mentally and emotionally drained already. But all we have been through is nothing compared to the things Daphnica has had to endure as she waited to come to Kentucky. Add to that the experience of traveling from Haiti to Miami, to Nashville. Two plane rides, two take offs and landings. The excitement of the "Party" then the hour & a half drive home then the reality we are at home. OUR HOME!! To be part of our family. Our family, and our community family! That's a lot of family and we will need to take it slow and steady at first. First of all we will need to take care of all her medical, skin, and intestinal needs. We will need to build her immune system up and probably ours too after living in Haiti and all the stress. We all three will need to detox. That will be fun. NOT......We will be having multiple doctor visits. This would be a great time to surround us with your doorstep love. Good homecooked meals are always welcomed. Please don't feel offended if you come by and we don't invite you in to stay a spell, but please don't feel like you can't pop by. I might just need a moment to sit on the step and chat..or I might not.. just know that we are looking forward to the day you can come and sit a spell with us as a family. We will be limiting activities as well. So please do not get your feelings hurt if you ask us to do something and we say no thank you not today. Too much sensory overload can cause huge crashes and melt downs for her. 3) There has to be connection!! Daphnica comes from an orphanage. She did not get a lot of bonding as a child. At the orphanage she has seen Americans (missions teams) come and go. We thank God for the bonding we have done with her in Haiti over the past 6 months. She is a wonderful and beautiful child. I know all of you are going to love her as much as we do. But she has had to learn at a tender age that she is not always going to get her needs met. She has had to learn that multiple caregivers give basic sustenance. She is learning to trust us, to know we are going to feed her, care for her, and love her. When we come home she needs to know we are still going to do these things for her. That is why it is so important that we do some one on one bonding at our own house in Kentucky . For her to learn her new home first then she can come visit you all. At times she is still very insecure and shy. We will have to take things very slow at first. Remember she is leaving all she has ever know behind. That can be very scary for a little girl. We have also be gone for a long time and been through a lot over the past few months and will need some time to readjust as well. We have reached so many healthy milestones and we need to keep reaching for more. Again bear with us please and remind yourself and others who may not have read this WHY we need it to be this way for the while. Please remember Daphnica may be small for her age but is a very intelligent child she does not like to be talked to like she is a baby. This is a list of things she cannot eat, candy, gum, sticky foods they will get stuck in her tooth wires. We also do not give her sodas, chocolate, tea, or any thing with caffeine (it makes her go crazy and climb the walls, or gives her a super crash we have seen both sides of this), anything with fake sugars. The life she comes from was a simple diet of rice and beans. So we limit junk food and processed foods.We are trying to set up healthy eating habits and give her things that are really good for her body. We are off to a good start so far we need your help to continue. She has gained 16lbs and grown 7 inches in height since November. To think we have not even made it to America yet. When we came in November she wear a size 24 month 2T in clothes, and size 9 /10 in shoes. She now wears a 5/6 in clothes and a 12/13 in shoes. 4) There has to be "Those days" After all in my dream life Daphnica comes home, the house is spotless, the meals are all ready, we are all healthy. We enter the home and start life as a Norman Rockwell family. In my dream every one is wearing flowing clothes, the sunlight is cascading over us all and I think I hear harps playing :) IN real life however.. all three of us will feel overwhelmed, the stress of the wait will be out in all of us, the sleepless nights. The looks in public and the natural "do I know what I am doing?" new parent thought process will be kicking in. There may be days when the smile is a little strained and the "We are doing great" might not sound quite honest. There might be days where I can't see straight for lack of sleep...Remember I have lived in a third world country for months. I need time to think about the people and life I have left behind. There may be times I cry just over having clean/hot water and lights. I want you to know this :0) Because when I am having one of these days I'd love it if you could just say. You made it this far, or better yet give me a hug and tell me you are proud of me or that it's OK. 5) In the end there has to be family! I can not wait for you all to meet my Daphnica. I can't wait for her to be out in the park playing, going to the library, music classes and in our community. (hopefully behaving) I am so blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people. We have had the best support system. All of you who have walked this walk with us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that love, but most of all thank you for the prayers. This will be the start of the rest of the journey..thank-you for reading through this with me. I truly Love you all. Love, Holly